He groaned in satisfaction. From his low perspective, he stared out the window to an unobstructed view of blue sky.

“What is that, the second time today?”

He closed is eyes, hoping to shut out the low, criticizing voice from the other side of the apartment.

“Not that it’s the end of the world if you keep doing that, I just think you could find a more productive use of your time.”

“Please stop judging me.”

“Because my judgment isn’t a mirrored reflection of your own self-hatred?”

He opened his eyes and looked across the small room at the Ironic Zombie Puppet lying on the furniture that barricaded the front door. The Ironic Zombie Puppet lay flat on its back with its head facing the Puppeteer. It was a macabre representation of a rotting corpse. The left eyeball hung from its socket while the cloudy right eye stared intently at the Puppeteer.

Suddenly self-conscious, the Puppeteer tucked himself away and zipped his threadbare pants.

“What, are you shy now? You know I’ve seen worse.”

“Shut up.”

“Says the man responsible for everything I say.”

The Puppeteer stood from the tattered easy chair and shuffled to another corner of the tiny apartment, hanging his head to avoid the gaze of the Ironic Zombie Puppet.

“I wish you would stop trying to run from me. You have no place to go. Unless, of course, you want to go outside.”

“I’m not going outside.”

“Are you scared to go outside?”

The Puppeteer spun around to face the Ironic Zombie Puppet, anger burning his face. “Of course I’m scared! What the fuck am I supposed to do?! There’s nothing out there but death!”

“There’s nothing in here, with specific regards to your sanity.”

The Puppeteer shook his head and began pacing. “No. No, this has to be better. I can make the food last a few more days. And it might rain soon, so I can collect more water. This has to be better.”

“Better than what?”

“Better than what?! Going outside, you fucking ass!”

“Calm down, now. Do you need to jerk off again?”

The Puppeteer stopped pacing and looked at the Ironic Zombie Puppet, a thought flashing through his head. “Stop judging me,” he growled.

“Says the man responsible for everything I say.”

The Puppeteer took a step towards the Ironic Zombie Puppet, his eyes growing dark.

“I hope you’re not planning on doing anything stupid.”

“Stop judging me,” the Puppeteer threatened again.

“Or what?”

The Puppeteer grabbed the Ironic Zombie Puppet tightly. 

“What are you doing?”

“STOP JUDGING ME!”

The Puppeteer hurled the Ironic Zombie Puppet at the window where it bounced and fell to floor. The Puppeteer’s chest heaved as he stalked over to the window.

“That was unnecessary.”

The Puppeteer unlocked the window and lifted it. Fresh air wafted into the stuffy apartment and with it came an inhuman stench. From somewhere below, there was a distinct glurping.

“What are you doing?”

“Ending this.”

The Puppeteer grabbed the Ironic Zombie Puppet for the last time.

“This won’t solve anything.”

“No, but it’ll make me feel better.”

“If you want to feel better, why don’t you just jerk off again?”

The Puppeteer stared at the fake-rotting latex face of the Ironic Zombie Puppet and found himself filled with a sadness. It was all too fleeting. The pleasure. Happiness. Purpose, of any kind. Friendship.

The Puppeteer turned around and sat on the window’s ledge, still holding the Ironic Zombie Puppet.

“There, that’s better.”

The Puppeteer sighed and then let himself fall backwards out the window. Much better.

I received a rather eloquent comment on my YouTube channel early this morning:

I've since removed the comment and blocked the user -- you know, cause I can't take criticism -- but I suspect that this was in response to my Socialism video from 2009:

The video, for some reason, is very popular. It has over 15k views and gets more every day. And I would receive comments on nearly a weekly basis. In fact, before I turned off the comments, there were a total of 245 posted to this video. Yay?

The problem here is this: people, sadly, are stupid. It was stupid, right-wing fanatics that turned socialism into a four-letter work back in 2008 and it's stupid people who watch this video today and don't get the point that STUPID PEOPLE HAVE STRIPPED ANY MEANING FROM THE WORD. The word socialism was meaninglessly tossed around so much in 2008 and 2009 that, predictably, it lost all meaning. So that thing everyone thinks they're supposed to be so scared of? Yep, it's just more people SPEAKING THE WORD SOCIALISM.

That's what the video is about. It's a bit of social commentary that has absolutely nothing to do with socialism itself, but the stupid people who like to use the word.

And stupid people don't get it. Why? Cause they're stupid. So they leave stupid comments. But it doesn't stop there. Because the same stupid people that carelessly and repeatedly throw words like socialism around are motivated by this inexplicable hatred. Unfortunately, they're stupid and they don't know any better -- worse, they think that their hate-driven senselessness is the God-Ordained-Right-Words-Regarding-This-Subject. And they know this for a fact because the Holy Trinity Told Them So (Limbaugh, O'Reilly, and Beck).

All of this being said, I myself am not a stupid person. And after growing literally sick of the constant trickle of stupid and unabashedly mean remarks, I turned off the comments on this video.

Censorship? For some, maybe. For me, this was moderation -- in the most personal sense of the word. I have no interest in being inundated by the rank stupidity and hatred generated by the stupid people of the world, so I choose to moderate my interaction with them. I do so eagerly by disabling comments on this particular video and joyously blocking users like the one who left the comment above.

It works both ways. Just like the stupid people censor reason and intelligence from their own perspectives, I choose to censor the stupid people from my perspective.

Trust me, we'll all be a lot happier this way.

And now, let us cleanse our palettes:

Bold statements aren’t always easy to make.

No, wait, scratch that -- bold statements ARE easy to make, but actually making them (depending on your current set of circumstances) isn’t always easy.

As my year progresses, my creative life develops in all the ways I never expected. It’s counter-intuitive (at least in my head) and because of that, I don’t always acknowledge it when it’s happening. My instinct says that my creative work is personal, the stuff that I do out of pure passion.

As my professional career continues to take up more time, my passion-projects have dwindled to the point of nonexistence. And I can’t help but feel guilty.

But the fact of the matter is that my professional creative career has taken priority. And although it may not look it, I’ve been more creative than ever. And I get paid for it. Finally.

The big struggle in producing commercials and web content for a corporation (family-owned or otherwise) is that you have to work within guidelines that someone else established. Some of these guidelines are important; others are dated. My personal goal is to make a mark and do something different, but sometimes the best I can accomplish is to do something different in the business’s history.

The following is a TV spot for our Mazda dealership. It’ll be airing on WRDQ in Central Florida starting in a matter of days. Holler-Classic has never produced or aired a commercial like this (to my knowledge) and it is one of the most unique local dealer commercials I’ve ever seen.

If you’re familiar with local car dealer commercials (and who isn’t??) then you know that every spot advertises an offer -- dealers seem to be scared to promote something other than a monthly payment and APR. The result ends up stripping all originality from not just the video, but the product they’re trying to sell.

Think about it: manufacturers spend a lot of money developing a vehicle as art -- and that’s how they pitch it. Audi and Cadillac are great examples. And then when the creative trickles down to the dealer level, that piece of art is described as the mass-produced copy that it really is, and that “we’ve got tons to choose from! Every make and model!”

It’s the difference between saying “this is a beautiful car” and “have I got a beautiful car for you”.

At any rate, my goal is to create something different; something that puts a little bit of that art back into a local dealer commercial. Is it there yet? Probably not, but it’s gotten a lot closer. And if it catches an eye or two, then all the better.

The process on this Mazda spot started with a sixty-second radio spot (another monumental departure from the norm this month!). I had an opportunity to write something that took full advantage of the sixty seconds (usually we only have about thirty seconds to play with) and after the spot was produced, I asked the radio station to give me a version of the VO without any music under it.

After cutting the VO down to thirty seconds, I was able to build out the rest of the video. I shot the stock footage of the dealership a few weeks back and created the .com title in Motion. The photos and sparkler video at the front of the commercial were actually the hardest part, slogging through tons of stock pictures trying to find the perfect fit. This commercial is actually the second draft, having to change and add an additional photo.

So that’s what I’ve done creatively in the past week. Is it truly great? I dunno, but when I look at it -- especially in the context of my other work at Holler-Classic -- it makes me proud.

Stay bold and stay creative.

Jordan Krumbine

I love you. I really do. And not just because I'm obligated (because of that whole name thing) but because you are a source of joy, inspiration, and friendship to me.

Unfortunately, I have to tell you something: this isn't working out.

Wait, no, that's not right. This isn't GOING to work out. Easily. Or something like that.

My point, if I may be so blunt, is that I'm getting tired of the complaining. Every few months, another of our ranks succumbs to this whole "done with Youtube" mood swing that invariably passes in a matter of months. It's become routine to the point of annoying.

I get it. I've been there. Hell, I built a house and claimed the address of that location.

It's not easy to live on the cusp of greatness, and with every creative effort we put forth, that's where we continually plant our flags. Every video we make, every blog we write, every song we sing -- it's all to serve our creative drive. And what the hell is the point of creation if it can't be enjoyed by someone?I don't ignore this fact, and neither should you. It's not shameful, either. It's not dirty. We create so that others can enjoy it. We want our creations to be seen. Yeah, it's an addiction, but then again, so is breathing. And just like breathing, for most of us, if we stop creating we die. 

To be creative is to live on the cusp of greatness. And in no universe is that easy. Because with the need to be seen and appreciated, accompanying that is the simple fact that this is our happiness and our dream is to live off of what makes us happy. And to know that the potential of greatness is forever right around the corner is agonizing.

But just because something is just out of reach doesn't mean we stop. We're creative. We invent. And we'll invent a new way to reach our goal. Because that's what we do.

It's not easy today and for all I know, it won't be easy tomorrow. For that matter, who the hell wants it to be easy? We're creative. We live for the challenge. And there is no greater challenge than success, so hunker down, settle in, and get ready for the long haul.

It's what we do.

And for those of us who have the luxury of calling this a hobby or just something to pass the time -- good for you. If I have no other choice on the matter, then yes, this is my hobby.

But if I cannot be creative today, then I'll die tomorrow.

This is no hobby by any stretch of the imagination. It's our way of life. And it is for those who are (un)fortunate enough to not have that unquenchable creative hunger in their gut to label what we do a mere hobby.

For everyone else, I salute and support you. For those who don't understand ... don't worry, it's not yours to understand.

With all the love you could never comprehend: stay creative, Krumbination.

Jordan 

For everyone interested in Contagion and don't feel like listening to the whole 'cast -- the title up top tells the whole story.

In honor of the fact that I DIDN'T get to see my Holler Hyundai Equus commercial during Contagion, let's watch it again online, shall we? (Or just watch the embedded video below!)

Considering this is the 10th episode of the Horbacast, it's actually pretty damn lame. I promise that tomorrow's episode will be (slightly) better. And bonus-sized. Probably. On the flipside, I can tell you that I promised Krumbination's resident religious guru, Tripp Hudgins, that I'd syndicate his vlog-cast if he kept doing them. Along with having just a stellar, gravelly, smooth-jazz-in-the-evening kind of voice, Tripp just moved to Berkeley, CA and is pursuing his PH.d. His 'cast is a semi-daily affair titled "First Thoughts" and it's about his adventures during this exciting time. I enjoy his stories and I hope you will, too.

In the meantime, please enjoy the 10th episode of the Horbacast by streaming it below or downloading it for later! Be sure to hit the like button or leave a comment so I know you were here.

I'm about two days (as of now) behind on the Horbacast (as in the 'cast's are recorded, just not edited or uploaded) -- but better to be behind on it than to not be doing it at all, right? Right!

Please enjoy this episode of the Horbcast! Hit the like button or leave a comment so I know you were here.

Keeping things fast and simple today .... no bonus content, sorry! But let me know you were here by answering  the question: what have you done (or plan to do) to hang on to your passion? Leave a comment below!

In times of trouble, doubt, and self-loathing, who can you possibly count on?

ME!

It's Horbacast time and today's episode serves as my Creativity Report for this week. Feel free to stream the 'cast below or download it for later. As always, please leave a comment or hit the like button so I know you were here!

Here's the gallery of Captain Randy concept art. And I can't remember what else I said I'd link up for you guys. Sorry.