STANDARD DISCLAIMER JUNK:
If you have any questions about whether or not WEBCAMS is a collab for you and if you need tips on how to record your footage for this show, please read this article in our How-To section.
There are only TWO parts up for grabs in this script, but I'm not telling you which ones they are (mainly because I'll figure it out later). As always, leave a comment below regarding which part you're interested in. If you're new to WEBCAMS, also leave a link to a video that shows off your acting.
The chosen performers will be notified by email along with there being a corresponding post in this blog.
If you'd like to contribute to the show, but if you don't want to act, we're always looking for original, :20 songs to compliment the main theme of the episode. If you have an idea for, and you want to write an episode of WEBCAMS, please submit it for consideration to this email address.
Click past the break for the new script!
If you have any questions about whether or not WEBCAMS is a collab for you and if you need tips on how to record your footage for this show, please read this article in our How-To section.
There are only TWO parts up for grabs in this script, but I'm not telling you which ones they are (mainly because I'll figure it out later). As always, leave a comment below regarding which part you're interested in. If you're new to WEBCAMS, also leave a link to a video that shows off your acting.
The chosen performers will be notified by email along with there being a corresponding post in this blog.
If you'd like to contribute to the show, but if you don't want to act, we're always looking for original, :20 songs to compliment the main theme of the episode. If you have an idea for, and you want to write an episode of WEBCAMS, please submit it for consideration to this email address.
Click past the break for the new script!
WEBCAMS (33) -- Obsessive Compulsive Coffee Drivers
Story by Benzone50
Written by Benzone50 and Jordan Krumbine
Characters
A - Thinking about giving up car
B - Coffee and car enthusiast
C - Green Warrior
TITLES
A
Are driver’s licenses even necessary anymore?
C
ABSOLUTELY not. In fact, if a person were to give up driving their car, they would save the environment from choking on an average of EIGHTEEN metric TONS of CO2 per fifty thousand miles.
A
Wow, seriously?
C
And just think about how much CO2 emissions would be exponentially reduced if states were to cut back on issuing driver’s licenses!
A
That’s incredible.
C
That’s a crime, is what it is. A crime against nature. Next time you pull up at a stop light, take a look at the cars around you. How many of those people are driving alone or with only one other passenger? And these are people driving cars and SUVs that seat up to and over eight people!
A
I can see what you mean. Public transportation just makes more sense.
B
Oh, great, not more of that tree-hugging, green movement horsecrap.
C
Oh, you’re one of THOSE, huh?
B
Yeah, and I could say the same about you.
C
I think you just did.
B
I happen to like my car, thank you very much. 2009 Mustang GT drop-top. Three hundred horsepower V8 engine; 0-60 in 5.2 seconds ... my baby is like a cheetah on wheels.
A
(in awe)
Wow, that thing sounds like it can move!
B
You’ve never driven a car until you’ve driven a Mustang GT.
C
(scoffs)
Oh, come on! That’s one of the worst things you could possibly drive! A V8? What kind of mileage do you get?
B
I don’t care about things like that. I’m in it for the driving experience.
C
How many miles?!
A
I am curious.
B
Fine, I get about 15 miles to the gallon.
C
Oh my god! You know there are federal regulations mandating a MINIMUM of 35 miles to the gallon by 2016, right?!
B
Yeah, that’s FIVE years from now! Who cares?!
C
I DO! It’s people like you who are destroying the earth!
B
Blah-blah-blah. Can’t you people sing any other tunes?
A
Now, come on now -- it’s not that unreasonable.
B
Of course you’d say that, you think that driver’s licenses are unnecessary!
A
Well I don’t think they’re mandatory, which seems to be the popular theory!
C
Public transportation negates the need of probably 75 percent of driver’s licenses issued.
B
I’m not giving up my car!
A
Well why not? Just because you enjoy driving it? I mean, we all live here and this is the only planet we’ve got. Don’t you think everyone is obligated to do everything they can to preserve it?
C
YES. I don’t think I could have put it better myself.
B
You didn’t.
C
Shut up.
B
Look, I like my car, I like driving my car, and, well ... yes, I agree. We do have an obligation--
C
Then why are you driving a gas-guzzling V8 Mustang?!
A
Yeah, exactly, why?!
B
(flustered, can’t answer)
C
There are hybrids, you know. That would significantly reduce your C02 output. I mean, do you have any idea how important it is to reduce our carbon footprint?!
B
(flustered)
I-I-I--
A
You could drive the hybrid and then have a framed photo of your prized V8 as a little memento. All while doing planet earth a favor.
C
You know, the ice caps in Antartica are melting, causing sea levels to rise. This is because human activity has produced such high levels of C02 that we’ve literally caused global warming. And even IF the scientists are wrong about this, we simply can’t afford to bet our only PLANET EARTH against those odds.
B
(even more flustered)
....
C
Technically no one REALLY knows if the ice caps could melt, much less WHEN. But I don’t think that even YOU would want to be around if they did.
B
(flustered)
I-I-I CAN’T--I need SPEED. And, well, coffee. I need my speed and coffee.
C
(confused)
A
I’m sorry?
C
Come again?
B
Look, I agree that we do have to be more conservative for our planet, but I can’t just give up my car. Yes, I love the experience of driving--I’m a driving enthusiast--but I also, well, I need my coffee.
A
Your coffee?
C
And people think I’m the crazy one.
B
I need my coffee. On my way to work every morning.
C
You can drink your coffee on a bus!
B
That’s not the same! My coffee, my car, it’s all part of my morning routine!
A
Your morning routine?
B
It’s how I start my work day.
C
Wait a minute, so what would happen if you didn’t drink your coffee on your way to work?
B
Well that wouldn’t happen.
C
But if it did?
B
It couldn’t!
C
But if somehow it did--
B
My day would be ruined!
A
(confused)
How’s that?
B
Not having my coffee in the car IS NOT my routine.
A
And you can’t just drink your coffee when you get to work? Or even before you leave the house?
B
NO! It’s not the same.
C
How is it not the same?!
B
(sighs)
First, I put my travel mug in the second cup holder before I start the engine. Then I let the car idle for five minutes while I go back and check that the front door of my house is locked.
A
(confused)
C
(confused)
B
When I climb back in the Mustang, I fasten my seat belt, bring the coffee to my lips, and then turn on the radio. I’m telling you, there’s nothing quite as soothing as Bill and Dave in the Morning while the delicious aroma of Brazilian coffee teases my nose.
A
(confused, worried)
C
(confused, worried)
B
I check the seat belt two more times before I take my first sip of coffee. I place the travel mug back in it’s cup holder, rev the engine once, put the car in reverse, visually check the front door of the house once more, and then back out of my driveway.
A
(wonder, awe)
C
(wonder, awe)
A
(concerned)
Are you serious?
B
Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be serious?
C
That’s your routine EVERY morning?
B
(nods)
Pretty much, yeah.
C
So you’re a little obsessive compulsive, is that it?
B
(confused)
How do you mean?
A
SERIOUSLY?
C
Your whole routine--it’s classic obsessive compulsive behavior! No wonder why you can’t give up your car!
B
I’ll never give up my car. It’d be like giving up one of my own body parts.
A
Well, that does it.
C
It does?
B
Does what?
A
I figure there are people who know better but still pollute the earth because they’re assholes. Then there’s people who know better, but can’t help it because of some kind of unavoidable situation.
C
And then there’s people like you.
B
Me?
C
Yeah.
A
And if you literally can’t give up your car, then I will give up my car for you.
B
Now you’re just being ridiculous.
A
That may be so, but I feel pretty damn good about it.
C
Good for you! You’re gonna stick with public transportation, then?
A
You bet. Although, I’ll definitely get a new bicycle. I’ve also been thinking about a scooter.
B
(scoffs)
A scooter? Really? Don’t get me started!
C
(rolls eyes)
END
Story by Benzone50
Written by Benzone50 and Jordan Krumbine
Characters
A - Thinking about giving up car
B - Coffee and car enthusiast
C - Green Warrior
TITLES
A
Are driver’s licenses even necessary anymore?
C
ABSOLUTELY not. In fact, if a person were to give up driving their car, they would save the environment from choking on an average of EIGHTEEN metric TONS of CO2 per fifty thousand miles.
A
Wow, seriously?
C
And just think about how much CO2 emissions would be exponentially reduced if states were to cut back on issuing driver’s licenses!
A
That’s incredible.
C
That’s a crime, is what it is. A crime against nature. Next time you pull up at a stop light, take a look at the cars around you. How many of those people are driving alone or with only one other passenger? And these are people driving cars and SUVs that seat up to and over eight people!
A
I can see what you mean. Public transportation just makes more sense.
B
Oh, great, not more of that tree-hugging, green movement horsecrap.
C
Oh, you’re one of THOSE, huh?
B
Yeah, and I could say the same about you.
C
I think you just did.
B
I happen to like my car, thank you very much. 2009 Mustang GT drop-top. Three hundred horsepower V8 engine; 0-60 in 5.2 seconds ... my baby is like a cheetah on wheels.
A
(in awe)
Wow, that thing sounds like it can move!
B
You’ve never driven a car until you’ve driven a Mustang GT.
C
(scoffs)
Oh, come on! That’s one of the worst things you could possibly drive! A V8? What kind of mileage do you get?
B
I don’t care about things like that. I’m in it for the driving experience.
C
How many miles?!
A
I am curious.
B
Fine, I get about 15 miles to the gallon.
C
Oh my god! You know there are federal regulations mandating a MINIMUM of 35 miles to the gallon by 2016, right?!
B
Yeah, that’s FIVE years from now! Who cares?!
C
I DO! It’s people like you who are destroying the earth!
B
Blah-blah-blah. Can’t you people sing any other tunes?
A
Now, come on now -- it’s not that unreasonable.
B
Of course you’d say that, you think that driver’s licenses are unnecessary!
A
Well I don’t think they’re mandatory, which seems to be the popular theory!
C
Public transportation negates the need of probably 75 percent of driver’s licenses issued.
B
I’m not giving up my car!
A
Well why not? Just because you enjoy driving it? I mean, we all live here and this is the only planet we’ve got. Don’t you think everyone is obligated to do everything they can to preserve it?
C
YES. I don’t think I could have put it better myself.
B
You didn’t.
C
Shut up.
B
Look, I like my car, I like driving my car, and, well ... yes, I agree. We do have an obligation--
C
Then why are you driving a gas-guzzling V8 Mustang?!
A
Yeah, exactly, why?!
B
(flustered, can’t answer)
C
There are hybrids, you know. That would significantly reduce your C02 output. I mean, do you have any idea how important it is to reduce our carbon footprint?!
B
(flustered)
I-I-I--
A
You could drive the hybrid and then have a framed photo of your prized V8 as a little memento. All while doing planet earth a favor.
C
You know, the ice caps in Antartica are melting, causing sea levels to rise. This is because human activity has produced such high levels of C02 that we’ve literally caused global warming. And even IF the scientists are wrong about this, we simply can’t afford to bet our only PLANET EARTH against those odds.
B
(even more flustered)
....
C
Technically no one REALLY knows if the ice caps could melt, much less WHEN. But I don’t think that even YOU would want to be around if they did.
B
(flustered)
I-I-I CAN’T--I need SPEED. And, well, coffee. I need my speed and coffee.
C
(confused)
A
I’m sorry?
C
Come again?
B
Look, I agree that we do have to be more conservative for our planet, but I can’t just give up my car. Yes, I love the experience of driving--I’m a driving enthusiast--but I also, well, I need my coffee.
A
Your coffee?
C
And people think I’m the crazy one.
B
I need my coffee. On my way to work every morning.
C
You can drink your coffee on a bus!
B
That’s not the same! My coffee, my car, it’s all part of my morning routine!
A
Your morning routine?
B
It’s how I start my work day.
C
Wait a minute, so what would happen if you didn’t drink your coffee on your way to work?
B
Well that wouldn’t happen.
C
But if it did?
B
It couldn’t!
C
But if somehow it did--
B
My day would be ruined!
A
(confused)
How’s that?
B
Not having my coffee in the car IS NOT my routine.
A
And you can’t just drink your coffee when you get to work? Or even before you leave the house?
B
NO! It’s not the same.
C
How is it not the same?!
B
(sighs)
First, I put my travel mug in the second cup holder before I start the engine. Then I let the car idle for five minutes while I go back and check that the front door of my house is locked.
A
(confused)
C
(confused)
B
When I climb back in the Mustang, I fasten my seat belt, bring the coffee to my lips, and then turn on the radio. I’m telling you, there’s nothing quite as soothing as Bill and Dave in the Morning while the delicious aroma of Brazilian coffee teases my nose.
A
(confused, worried)
C
(confused, worried)
B
I check the seat belt two more times before I take my first sip of coffee. I place the travel mug back in it’s cup holder, rev the engine once, put the car in reverse, visually check the front door of the house once more, and then back out of my driveway.
A
(wonder, awe)
C
(wonder, awe)
A
(concerned)
Are you serious?
B
Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be serious?
C
That’s your routine EVERY morning?
B
(nods)
Pretty much, yeah.
C
So you’re a little obsessive compulsive, is that it?
B
(confused)
How do you mean?
A
SERIOUSLY?
C
Your whole routine--it’s classic obsessive compulsive behavior! No wonder why you can’t give up your car!
B
I’ll never give up my car. It’d be like giving up one of my own body parts.
A
Well, that does it.
C
It does?
B
Does what?
A
I figure there are people who know better but still pollute the earth because they’re assholes. Then there’s people who know better, but can’t help it because of some kind of unavoidable situation.
C
And then there’s people like you.
B
Me?
C
Yeah.
A
And if you literally can’t give up your car, then I will give up my car for you.
B
Now you’re just being ridiculous.
A
That may be so, but I feel pretty damn good about it.
C
Good for you! You’re gonna stick with public transportation, then?
A
You bet. Although, I’ll definitely get a new bicycle. I’ve also been thinking about a scooter.
B
(scoffs)
A scooter? Really? Don’t get me started!
C
(rolls eyes)
END
HORBAWRONG STUDIOS RELEASE NOTICE:
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BY COMMENTING BELOW AND SUBMITTING ANY ORIGINAL FOOTAGE, PERFORMANCE, MUSIC, OR SCRIPT, YOU ARE HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT HORBAWRONG STUDIOS AND JORDAN KRUMBINE HAVE EXPLICIT PERMISSION AND NON-EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS TO USE YOUR CONTENT AS PART OF A VIDEO OR SERIES OF VIDEOS FOR COMMERCIAL BROADCAST PURPOSES.
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