It's time to write a script, guys.  Here's how we're gonna do it: we've got the opening of the first episode already hashed out as well as the premise for the rest of the episode.  Use the comments here to continue to outline the rest of the story and write scenes.

The Revengers - 01

Dan spends a week at an office where his target is a IT instructor from hell.  He holds an Excel training class once a month and has a test that no one can ever get 100% on.  And if you get more than two questions wrong, he makes you retake the class.  The case is marked "ED" in the case file and ends after Dan shares a cup of coffee and some homemade muffins with the intructor before his class.

The result?  Explosive diarrhea, sick day, and everyone in the class gets a pass.

Sam's case target is a plastic surgeon who fired his office supervisor to hire a prettier girl who would work for less.  Sam slips to destroy the office manual that the client wrote--what the new girl would essentially need to do her job.  End result, pretty girl still gets the job, but the doctor is put through the ringer.

TITLES

A woman comes to hire Dan and Sam.  She hands them an envelope with pictures of her husband having sex with her sister on sheets that she bought for him for their anniversary--Egyptian cotton, 1200 thread count.

DAN
Are these pictures in sequential order?  Cause if they started doing this after doing that--

SAM
Oh, that's just wrong.

DAN
I was going to say nasty-squared.  But yours works, too.

 


Comments

bell02
04/12/2009 3:19am

Cool, cool I was waiting for this! The pictures are suppose to be draft images, so changes to those are more than welcome from me! (I intend to redraw the pages better in the first place) I'm excited to hear the ideas and suggestions everyone will have!!

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krumbine
04/13/2009 12:07pm

@bell02: well, it looks like maybe the writers weren't that interested. We'll give it some time, though.

It still amazes me when you say those pages are drafts because they're nothing short of brilliant. I'll leave this open for input for a few more days and then start working on a final script myself.

Will it be easier to draw individual panels (in more of a storyboard) than actual pages? This would be easier in the long run, in terms of a motion comic ... Alternatively, I can just put together a more complete outline and let you take the same kind of creative liberty you did with these drafts.

Let me know your thoughts ...

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bell02
04/13/2009 5:38pm

Yeah, the professional way is to send me the storyboards, and in the long run, that'll help the best, but which ever is easier. It'll be easier to understand what you want things to look like with the storyboards. (Usually when I make something like a comic I'll take/write the script and make a draft/storyboard from that, then use that as a basis when I redraw the final)

However, Outlines like the original, as well, is welcome to work. The only thing about the outline method is that I worry that it won't look the way you want... but I can do it that way, no problem!

As for motion comics... I'm not sure how those work... I mean... I know how to make/code them in flash or something, but I don't really know how to arrange panels to look better for that format (judging from the Marvel motion comics I've seen, I'm not completely sure how I should arrange them).

Individual panels... I'm not 100% sure what you mean... individual like Sunday Comics panel style, Individual like draw a whole page and put it into panels like those Comic Software programs, or Individual like cut up the panels after I've finished them. I could try it, but I've found that panels shapes effect how the action looks, so making them all the same size might not make it look as nice.

I probably can make the panel angles a bit more square (So that it'd be easier to copy and convert)... I think that will work... but if you know anyone that knows how to do that style better, they give me tips because I don't know much on how to do that (lol)

I guess there is still enough time from the story to the final to where we can figure out more on that stuff later.

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