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                                                Destructive Criticism - Awkward Moments - 2 05/12/2009
                                                2 Comments
                                                 

                                                Jamie's thumbs flew over the keys of his Blackberry as he texted one of the leading men in his NewTubers webshow.  Barry Heinemann was the one performer who had appeared in every one of the twenty-eight--soon to be twenty-nine--episodes of The NewTubers.  Not only was he the most consistent to appear in the show, but he was the most consistent performer on the show.  A brilliant and talented actor who approached a script with director's eye.  In Jamie's opinion, the defacto standard of perfection for a internet actor.

                                                They had known each other for years, and had bonded over writing and producing videos.  For the longest time, they remained several states apart, but when Jamie's and Josh's production company got its first batch of funding, Jamie moved Heinemann into a place slightly more convenient.

                                                Rarely did a day pass without a flurry of text messages being exchanged between the two.

                                                TO: HEINEMANN
                                                FROM: JAMIE
                                                Josh is gonna eat shit. I got Kindman.

                                                TO: JAMIE
                                                FROM: HEINEMANN
                                                No fucking way. R u serious?!

                                                TO: HEINEMANN
                                                FROM: JAMIE
                                                Just got the email a few hours ago. He's in for the 3-episode arc.

                                                TO: JAMIE
                                                FROM: HEINEMANN
                                                Dude, that fucker has over 500k subs! 1 episode with him will send the show thru the roof! o fuck--this is gonna happen on Joshs 50th??

                                                TO: HEINEMANN
                                                FROM: JAMIE
                                                That asshole won't know what happened. We're gonna bury him in a day. It'll be awesome.

                                                TO: JAMIE
                                                FROM: HEINEMANN
                                                This is great. I saw Pam last nite-- everything ok with u 2?

                                                TO: HEINEMANN
                                                FROM: JAMIE
                                                Yeah, fine. Why?

                                                TO: JAMIE
                                                FROM: HEINEMANN
                                                She was with Sherry n it looked like a bitch-fest.

                                                TO: HEINEMANN
                                                FROM: JAMIE
                                                Dunno. Saw her yesterday morning n things were fine.

                                                TO: JAMIE
                                                FROM: HEINEMANN
                                                Yeah, it was prolly nothing. Prolly Sherry venting about that bum she married. Oh, dude, guess waht?

                                                TO: HEINEMANN
                                                FROM: JAMIE
                                                What?

                                                TO: JAMIE
                                                FROM: HEINEMANN
                                                WE FUCKING GOT KINDMAN!!!!!!!

                                                2 Comments
                                                 
                                                Destructive Criticism - Awkward Moments - 1 05/11/2009
                                                3 Comments
                                                 

                                                Josh rolled over and let the cool air wash over his body.  The sweat cooled on his skin and his heavy breathing gradually slowed.

                                                "Wow," he said, his voice punctuated with genuine awe.  "That was something else."

                                                The room was dark.  The bedsheets were a tangled mess between Josh's and Liz's legs.  Liz layed motionless on her back, her fierce mane of red hair splayed out underneath her head like blood from a fatal headwound at a grisly crime scene.  Her breathing was soft and mild--the evening's activities had clearly taken more out of Josh than Liz.

                                                "Mmh," she offered, her overwhelming generosity mostly lost on Josh.

                                                "You know, I'm really excited about our fiftieth episode," Josh said, rolling over and propping his head up to look at Liz.  "Everyone is loving the script.  It's gonna be a big deal."

                                                Liz shifted in a calculated way, pivoting so that she faced away from Josh for briefest of moments before she mimicked his position, rolling to her side to face him.  In that instant when she was facing away from him, her eyeballs performed death-defying gymnastic rolls in her head.

                                                "That's great," she said with an absurdly warm smile.

                                                "Yeah, it is, isn't it?"  Josh returned her fake smile with a genuine one and rolled onto his back again.  "Jamie thinks The NewTubers 29th episode is going to  get better numbers, but I keep thinking that, yeah, maybe his show generates more hits, but fifty is a huge milestone--it's gonna be huge.  Plus, people have been really digging this new story arc in Tech Heads and all Jamie has for The NewTubers is a guy named Larry Kindman."

                                                This piqued Liz's attention, albiet begrudgingly.  "Larry Kindman?  As in Kindman099?"

                                                Liz's recognition of the name surprised Josh.  "Really?  C'mon, Liz!"

                                                "Well, he's big on the internet."

                                                "Yeah, obviously he's big if even YOU'VE heard of him."  Liz shot him a look and he conveniently ignored it.  "But I told you about the script, right?"

                                                Liz's eyes did a slightly less death-defying roll and this time did little to hide it from Josh.  "The one for your fiftieth?"

                                                "Yeah."

                                                "What about it?"

                                                "People love it."

                                                "Josh?"

                                                "Yeah, babe?"

                                                "Would you mind NOT talking about work right after we finish fucking?"

                                                ***

                                                3 Comments
                                                 

                                                  Seminal Works are for Pornstars

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