I'm getting to today's videos.  Eventually.  I'm also getting to a mashup of the two video reviews I got on VIDEORAMA ... eventually.  Right now, however, I'm hip deep in the murder-mystery novel (well, it's not EXACTLY a novel ...) that I mentioned earlier called "d8 w/ d34th".

The book will, without a doubt, feel gimmicky.  Each page is a text message to or from the main character, Penny.  The story starts when she starts receiving messages from a bitter ex-boyfriend.  Things start heading downhill fast when she discovers that Jeff, the ex-boyfriend, was murdered the night before.

The book will not be complex or lengthly by any means and is absolutely meant to be read in one sitting.  It's definitely experimental ... but mainly in format.  When one of the characters don't respond, the page is left blank, creating a sense of pace through-out the book.

I'm very excited about this project and am looking forward to sharing the finished product with you all.

I rushed to get the OUR ZOMBIE HOLIDAY script posted before I went out to Thanksgiving dinner ... after I did the Devilmas intro video, I thought it would be cool to share the origins of Devilmas.

A year ago, I went up to Orlando to visit with my buddy Josh.  We spent Christmas together being that we didn't have anyone else to spend it with.  This is where we came initiated Devilmas.  More importantly, this was when we decided to finally make a zombie movie.  Being that we didn't have any money or ability to do proper zombie effects, the idea was to write a super-no-budget script that "conveniently" left out all of the good bits.

So there's some really obvious stuff in the script ... things are described blatantly when they shouldn't be, because we can't show them.  When it comes to the bits about the shattered windows, since we couldn't actually break any of the windows in Josh's apartment, we wrote around that in the script.

In other words, all of the really weird parts in the script that might come off as bad writing are COMPLETELY intentional.

It should go without saying that we never actually shot the movie (if we had, trust me when I say that you'd have seen it).  Will it one day be made?  Maybe ... 


Will the sequel one day be written?  Possibly ...

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY
Lying in the bedroom of his one-bedroom apartment, JOSH twitches in his sleep, rolls over, groans, and then rubs his eyes. The bedside clock reads 11:45. There's a THUMPING from above and Josh groans again. He goes to the bathroom and relieves himself before stepping into the living room. The new projector is still on, projecting a television news station against the wall of the living room. Sleeping on the futon is JORDAN. On the floor is two pizza boxes and countless empty beer bottles.

Another THUMP and ROLLING from above and Josh looks up at the ceiling.

JOSH
... fucking neighbors ...

INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Josh goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of juice from the fridge. Scrawled on the dry-erase board is the message "MERRY DEVILMAS, FUCKER" and an arrow pointing up. Sitting on top of the fridge are two action figures molesting each other sexually. Josh grins, grabs his juice, and goes back to the living room.

Josh sits down and turns the volume on the television. The sound blasts out the news - something about an infection that's sweeping the nation at an alarming pace - and Jordan groans and rolls over. Josh flips through the channels, hitting the same news on each one. He shuffles through some of the DVDs at his feet and picks one out, putting it on. NIGHT OF THE EVIL LIVING UNDEAD PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT - PART 2 comes on. Jordan sits up, putting on his glasses.

JOSH (CONT'D)
Morning, bro.

JORDAN
What time is it?

JOSH
Like twelve or something.

Jordan stares at him.

JORDAN
Hardly morning.

JOSH
Yeah ... close enough.

Josh takes a swig of his juice. Jordan stares at the screen.

JORDAN
Did you just put this in?

JOSH
Yeah.

JORDAN
What is it?

JOSH
Zombie flick.

JORDAN
Weren't you just watching a zombie movie? Something about an deadly infection sweeping the nation ...

JOSH
Nah, that was just the news.

Jordan stares at Josh. Josh slowly meets his gaze. Suddenly, realization dawns and he clicks back to the TV news. They watch in wonder as scenes of the zombie invasion play out over broadcast news. A frenzy of mass hysteria is shown ...

THE DEAD WALK.

JORDAN
Dude ...

JOSH
Yeah, I know.

JORDAN
Look at the quality of that picture.


READ THE WHOLE SCREENPLAY!

I should point out that one of the main reasons I'm doing this Youtube Sabbatical and why I'll be focusing on some hardcore writing is because I should be receiving my EXTENDED BATTERY for my EEE pc (Eeesteban) in a day or so.  This will effectively take my paltry 1:30 battery life to well over five hours ... which will make the little bugger my ideal writing machine.

ALSO ... for those who have been enjoying the scriptbooks, I'm working on adapting another one--my FILM SCHOOL REJECTS series.  It's been fun working on it, and the story is really great--I think a lot of youtubers will really enjoy it.

Um, not really.  I'm taking writing break from krumbinesBRAIN to try and focus this coming month on some writing projects that are longer than 6 pages.  I haven't genuinely worked on a feature screenplay in a while, and I've had a few ideas lingering about, waiting to be hashed out.

The first is feature called "Eat Shit & Die!" and is about mutant shit slugs from outer-space that attack humans orally (i.e. through our mouths) and take over our bodies, turning us into shit-slug-zombies.

The second is going to be a pet project.  It's called "Silence" and will be about a plague/invasion that sweeps through the world and eliminates human-kind's ability to speak.  The movie will actually be a love story with the invasion happening in the background ... the sudden lack of speech forcing the main characters to communicate in far simpler ways and emotions.  The idea for this movie comes from my love of silent films and, recently, watching Wall-E ... a film that hints very strongly at the silent movie era.

I've also got a followup Explorers of the Unknown novel ("EotU: Zombies!") that I started a little while ago that really deserves to be finished.

The crown jewel, however, will be a book published right here and will invariably be one of the most unique books/stories/presentations you will ever see.  In the coming weeks, I'll try and post a bit of teaser of it (without giving too much of it away), but in short, it's tentatively called "d8 w/ d34th" and is a murder mystery told through text messages.

So, we've got a writing sabbatical forthcoming on krumbinesBRAIN (but not entirely ... there'll be a new episode or two periodically) but I don't want to leave my YouTube fans wanting and unfulfilled.  As my Christmas/holiday gift to YouTube, starting tomorrow I'll be launching the "Zombie/Heads Devilmas Marathon" (and I totally just made that up right now!!!).  Everyday, starting tomorrow, I'm posting a new episode of, first, Zaphod Zombie, and then the entire Talking Heads series.  And in regards to Talking Heads, this will likely be a limited time only--so download a copy of your favorite episodes before they go away again (copyright issues, guys ;)

That's what's happening ... tell me what you think of the "Eat Shit & Die!" and "Silence" movie ideas.  And if you had to make a silent film--in other words, you were given a budget to make a movie, but with NO SOUND EQUIPMENT--what would your movie be about?

One of the things I've always struggled with was the whole purpose of this website.  And the problem, essentially, is that if you don't know what the point of your website is, you tend to have a damn hard time designing it.

My issues lied in the fact that I had no desire to duplicate the effort of my Youtube channel--meaning that the videos are already hosted on Youtube and everybody already watches them on Youtube, so there's no sense in me reposting them here.

Right?

Well, almost.  See, there are a couple of videos that are too long for Youtube.  They've been on my old channel in episodic parts, but when I repost the movies online, it will be through this website here.  So right there you have two reasons for keeping an eye on this website:

1) Direct access to whatever is churning in my brain through my blog.

2) Exclusive videos that can't be found anywhere else on the web.

Stay tuned ... and in the mean time, check out how the website is coming together ;)  Sound off in the comments!

As strange as it sounds, Vector Corp. is an internet wholesaler of rubber bands. Managing the odd-ball assortment of characters that make up the third-shift crew is Jamie Glenn, a self-assured, smart-alecky, caffeine maven. Cal Winters is a walking compendium of knowledge for nailing a chick; Ted Christmas is deathly afraid of walking around corners; Anna Nichols is the bombshell hottie with a no-coworker dating policy; and Martin Cambell doesn't quite know what he's getting into when he starts his first night on the job.

With rumors of cutbacks running rampant, the 13th Annual Office Chair Derby, and a disgruntled former employee--in one night, the entire third-shift crew will find out what it means to work at the best job they will ever have.

Available now for only $9.72

Okay, here's how it works:  email me at jordancg (at) gmail.com, tell me which scriptbook you'd like to review, and give me your shipping address.  I'll send you a PDF of the script, and as soon as your video review is posted, I'll send a copy of any two of the five books I currently have published--that's right, do one video review and get TWO books!


I guarantee you'll love them!

See all the books here!

One of the things I don't talk about nearly enough is my love for technology.  When it comes to laptops, I've always felt that the smaller it is, the better--the point of the damn this is to be portable, right?


More to the point, I've ALWAYS wanted a cheap writing tool.  I am a child of the information age and, as such, am far more at home on a keyboard than with a pen and paper.  For the sake of money, I've tried to make do (my paper of choice is yellow legal pads), but I've always wanted something more efficient.


One of the first setups I had that provided any sort of satisfaction was a Handspring Visor and a Stowaway Keyboard.  Of course, this setup wasn't perfect ... but then I wasn't writing as heavily back then as I do now.  While the PDA offered excellent battery life and instant-on and instant-save, the fact that keyboard/PDA combo had to be setup--on a flat surface, as well--ended up being a bit of a hassle.


Skipping over the iBook (G3, 900 MHz I think) as one of my best writing machines, I'll jump straight to the Cingular 8125.  I got this smartphone from my sister ... she had bought it for the keyboard, but the whole thing ended up being too much phone for her.  I traded an iPod video for it.  Believe me, it was worth it.  That little sucker had a great keyboard on it and I found myself using it most before work and on breaks.  I still have the phone, although I don't use it for service.


Despite these gadgets, my desire for the perfect writing device still ran strong.  For the longest time, I've wanted to get my hands on an Alphasmart which I had convinced myself would have been perfect.  It is little more than a keyboard with a small screen attached and an app on it that's simply for writing.  The machine gets outstanding battery life due to its narrow purpose (and it runs on AAs!!!) and is sturdy as hell due to the fact that it's designed primarily for the educational market.  I've never been able to get over the $200+ pricetag for such a limited-feature gadget ... and the few times I did, the online shopping cart was glitchy.


All the while, I longed for a laptop built around yesterday's technology, and offered up at the fraction of the cost of normal laptops.


And that's where the Asus EEE PC came in.  As soon as that bad boy hit the scene, I was keeping a close eye on it.  One day, when I had some extra cash, I ran to my local Best Buy because I had heard they were stocking a Windows XP version of the diminutive EEE (this was back in April of this year).  My goal was to just play with it, but ultimately I walked out of the store with it.


I've used the EEE periodically since then ... sometimes a lot and sometimes very little.  Since I do so much video editing, I generally stay on my production machine ... another drawback to the EEE has been really bad battery life.  


Another drawback--for the writer in me--would have been the keyboard.  It's damn tiny.  But I've adapted to it quite well (when I use it frequently) and am able to touch type fairly easily.  What I tell people (if you're thinking about an EEE PC--hell, even Target sells them now!!!) is that when it comes to the keyboard, if you want to, you can get used to it.


You know, just like people got used to the iPhone keyboard.


I've recently been working on a couple of tweaks to get the most out of my little EEEsteban.  First was earlier this week when I scored the super-extended battery for $50.  It hasn't arrived yet, but when it does it will give me on average about 5 hours of battery life, taking care of one of my primary gripes about the laptop.


The other thing I've done has been to forgo the use of Firefox (which I'm missing the spellcheck right now--I'm writing this on the EEE) in favor of Google Chrome.  Chrome takes up far less screen real estate and although Firefox has a full-screen mode (F11), it's annoying to flip in and out of it.  A gripe about Chrome has been that it takes a while to pull up a page after I type the location in.  All other surfing is as responsive as expected.  A plus about Chrome is that it scrolls through web pages like all computers should ... meaning that when I use Firefox, sometimes there's a small lag.  Not a big deal, and partially expected when considering the low end hardware powering the browser.  But when Chrome suddenly starts flying through webpages, you notice a huge difference.


One of the biggest tweaks has been a tiny thing.  I've grown to despise the little balloon notifications that there's new windows updates or that I've successfully reconnected to my network.  Not only are they annoying, but they take up very valuable screen real estate.  A quick google search and I found out how to disable them completely.  (And is it me, or is it hilarious that this solution was found on Microsoft's website??)


In the end, as I wait for my extended battery to arrive, my thoughts about the EEE PC are positive.  If you write a lot or spend a lot of time online, having a netbook like EEE can change the way you compute--having the extended battery in it and being able to keep the laptop with you at all times will virtually change the way you THINK about computers.


That's the gadget I'm digging pretty hardcore right now ... what gadget are you loving?  And as a part 2 to the question: what gadgets do you have that better facilitate your creativity?


Video to come ...

PSHHEW-PSHHEW-PSHHEW!!!

New episode of krumbinesBRAIN is all kinda of awesome.  It's the second new episode of the new channel and it's random, irreverent, and tight as hell.  Watch it and love it.

youtube.com/krumbine