VIDEO RESPONSES

You'll notice that I'm pushing video responses for KB04 on twitter pretty hard.  I'm doing this for two reasons:

1) The more people who post their birthday wishes and why they like Talking Heads, the better the Talking Heads Birthday Collab video will be.

2) More video responses will drive it up the most-responded list.  Which means more exposure.  And we all know what an attention-whore I am.

If you haven't done so yet, please post a short video response.  It can be a long and detailed explanation of why you like Talking Heads and how it's impacted your (YouTube) life, or it can be as brief as wishing the show happy birthday.

EOTU

I'm very happy to reveal a quick taste of a project that has literally been years in the making.  There have been more false starts to this project than I care to count, but I'm delighted to say that things are official, now.

Explorers of the Unknown, like you've never seen them before, is coming soon.

VERY soon.

[NOTE: Usually I read over my post at least once before I post it in order to clean it up ... it's late and I need to go to bed.  Pardon my typos; I'll clean up around here first thing in the morning!]

Since I'm waiting for the new episode of krumbinesBRAIN to encode and upload, I figured I'd hit you with a new blog and a general update on what my day was like.

Obviously, I started the day with call to action--a committment to productivity and overcoming my recent bout of laziness.  It's a quarter after eleven (in the evening) as I write this, and I'd have to say that I did a pretty good job.

Currently, one of our cats (Lucy--you met her in a prior episode of krumbinesBRAIN) is pretending that the shoelaces on my discarded shoes are evil, wiley beasts that must be subdued at all costs.  I mention this only because usually, at this hour, she's busy subduing the evil, wiley beast that is her tail.

While she sits on my lap.  When she isn't watching whatever it is I'm working on the computer screen.

An odd animal, to be sure, but I like her.

But back to my story: after work I took the girl to dinner at what has become my new favorite place for a steak dinner.  Longhorn Steakhouse has, by far, the most flavor-packed meals I have ever had the pleasure of dining on ... literally, every bite bursts with mouth-watering flavor that stirs the beast in belly even now, not all that long after being so well-fed in first place.

Yes, I enjoy a good meal.  Who doesn't?  If it's steak, than doubly so.

After dinner, we wound up at Wal-Mart.  (I know!!!  I had to enter the damn place with "mounting trepidation".  I got some odd looks.)  It was here that I followed through with my quest for a bicycle.

You all gave excellent suggestions and recommendations (the most important, in my opinion, being that I should get the red bike because red bikes are naturally faster) but ultimately I decided to just say screw it all and follow my very happy gut (remember, I had just come from dinner at Longhorn!)

I found myself carefully examing both ends of the price spectrum ... both the most expensive bike that I mentioned in the earlier blog (the high-end Schwinn) to the low-end Huffy--I couldn't justify the bikes in the middle-price range because I either wanted to stay cheap, lest I use the bike three times and then leave it to collect dust, or go all out and not have a care or want for anything greater in a bicycle.

After trying out about five or six different cycles, I eventually narrowed it down to a black Schwinn for a respectably small amount of money.  This bike is the epitome of basic and I found that appealing.  It's a cruiser bike, so it has the raised handlebars and it lacks handbrakes (in favor of a disc brake) and multiple gears.

Like I said: basic.

About twenty minutes after I got home (it was trash night) I took it out for its maiden voyage.  This was the first time I had ridden a bicycle in literally years.  Oddly enough, despite the small amount of trepidation, it was just like riding a bike.

... get it?

Not only was it fun, but it took me back to when I was much younger and I had simple bikes that were acquired from thrift stores or wherever else I could find them (such as people's curbside trash).  And on top of the simple thrill of riding a bike and having the wind rush past your ears, it was damn good exercise.  Yay, me!

On my brief ride (it was one lap throughout the community, about fifteen minutes of fast-paced riding) I came across two coyotes, a large-ass snake (I don't know what kind it was--it was brown and yellow with patterns on its back), and lots of airborne bugs which are like mini missiles when you riding a bike as fast as you can.

It was wicked fun.

Continuing with the theme of productivity (or is it just activity?) I got to work on finishing KB04.  This turned out to be a much bigger clip show than any of the prior episodes.  One surprise, both for me and for you, is that I included a little teaser trailer for Apocablog that I made a few months ago ... it was actually a test to see how capable a netbook was for editing video.  It's not the most brilliant teaser trailer, but I think you'll enjoy it.

Finally, the biggest hurdle in this personal call to action is giving up that precious sleep of mine.  It's 11:45 now and my video is almost done uploading.  Usually, I like to go to bed at around ten--I get up at a quarter to seven for work--and of course, I'm the epitome of a sleep whore.

And I would be more than happy to live my life in that pattern.

But more important than nine or ten hours of sleep, is this sense of accomplishment.  And the problem is that there's just not enough time in the day to work for a living, have a personal life, and labor tirelessly for your creative art.

What helps, I find, is a healthy amount of caffeine, a little bit of regular exercise to keep your energy levels up, and a butt-load of determination.

That was my day.  How was yours?

Here's that sample script to give you the gist of how I write a "neo-mono" show, and how to setup a weekly progression for your story:

Apocablog - Krumbine - 01

... I never saw this coming.
 
Okay, look, I saw things coming--I saw a surge in my popularity on youtube and doors opening up and then all kinds of opportunity that I never imagined.
 
But this?
 
... this, I never saw coming.
 
TITLES
 
I don't know how long the electricity is going to hold out and I don't know how long the internet will last ... but for as long as it does, I want to be able to tell people what's happening.
 
(chuckles)
 
It's funny because I've always wondered what I'd be doing with my life if I didn't have to go to work to pay the bills for all the ammenities I never really wanted in the first place ... what would I do with my life, then?
 
Everybody has to have that one thing, right?  I've always figured that writing and video editing and all of this other bullshit was my "thing".
 
I guess we'll see how long that lasts, huh?
 
Alright ... here's the deal ... shit is going down.  I-I-I don't know what it is or why or fucking HOW this is even happening ... but it is. 


READ THE REST OF THE SCRIPT HERE.

Today is going to be dedicated to getting back on track.  It's been a nice week and a half (or so) of lazing about and generally doing nothing, but seriously guys: we have active, creative minds that demand progress and productivity.  To slack off in our creative endeavors is to forsake what drives us to wake up in the morning.

Let this be a call to action--a kick in the pants for everyone who just hasn't "felt like it" for the past few days (myself included).

Heather: have you been editing, love?  If not, hop to it!

Ibrahim: you've slacked off on the fourth challenge as much as I have.  Call it, bitch, so I can give out more free stuff.  And remember, your video has to be at least as good as Victor's.  There's a steamy photo in it for you if it's better.  Oh yeah, I went there.

Emily: I have the highest standards for you because I know how great a writer you are.  I'll be posting my plans for you later, as well as repeating them in the new krumbinesBRAIN when I upload that.

Jez: You are fucking PACKING up your life and getting ready to hit the road for a year!  You can't muster up any sort of chronicling of this experience?!  Also, was there any follow up on the Cecil project?  If there's no interest in it, that's cool.

BillO: You're the biggest, laziest, sonofabitch of them all!  Okay, maybe I just said that for effect and didn't really mean it, but I'll draw you're attention to Emily's note for your action as well.

Middlebrook: Get off your lazy ass, get back on YouTube, and make a new Middlebrook's Advice.  I'm beginning to forget how the theme song goes.

TO EVERYONE: Today marks the first birthday of Talking Heads.  To celebrate, I would like everyone to make a video simply saying why they like the show.  I'll be posting a krumbinesBRAIN episode tonight for which you can add your videos as responses.  Shortly after I collect a good number of videos, there will be a massive Talking Heads Anniversary video, featuring all of your comments.

Finally, I'm elevating the challenge series to a new level with something I'm calling "Apocablog".  Like I said, this one is for you Emily (BillO, take note!).  Apocablog is the epitome of a creative challenge.  You're goal is to create a character who is living in the end of times.  It can be a meteor impacting the earth, a zombie apocalypse, or even the good lord himself, smiting his creation ... you create a character who is vlogging the end of days.  I challenge you to take your time with this project and craft something as creative and compelling as possible ... and your goal is to up the ante once a week, as the end grows ever nearer.

That's Apocablog ... and it's starts next Wednesday.  I'll post a script I wrote so you can get a better idea of what the concept is, but the idea is to invent your own character and your own set of circumstances.

And now, after much debate and agonizing over the comments, I've decided that the winner of my random give-away will be Em, TheStarvingSoprano.  Email me your shipping address and I'll send you a copy of the book!  Also, if you've been on the fence about buying a book, I'd emphatically encourage you to do so--I'm only $2.50 shy of receiving my first remission payment for the book sales!

As always: stay creative!

You guys are too generous.  I like to try and respond to everyone's comments, but you all flooded me before I much woke up this morning!

Still, you guys are generous.  That short story was something that came to me in the hour before I went to bed myself.  I was reading Obsquatch's blog and he made mention of "2:26" and I kind of just took it from there (thanks, dude!).  I try and put a little more purpose into a story, but this one, well, I didn't.  Which is why you guys are too generous.

The intention was to hint at the subtext of the writer's life, the reasons he enjoys sleep more than his waking life ... all without actually getting into those details.  It was a short story and I was giving myself less than an hour to write it.

So, I know that it's shallow on the surface, despite the miniscule effort to beef up the subtext.  I think you ended being so generous because of everyone's ability to relate to it it: everybody prefers their dreams at least once in their life.

Anyway, to show my gratitude for all of the support you've all showered upon me and the dedication you've exhibited by making the trek over from my youtube and twitter pages, I want to offer up a copy of one of the books--any book--as the prize to an impromptu contest.  To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment telling me which book you'd like to win and why.  I'll select a random winner at the end of the day (okay, tomorrow morning, just to be fair) and then send you the book.

Don't believe me?  Recent winners of my random prize giveaways include AngryPunkBronxKid (he got a t-shirt for pointing out the Talking Heads episode number anomaly) and FalconNeko (who also won a t-shirt for catching the recycled Beanie Boy theme music in the new krumbinesBRAIN).

I give away WAY too much shit.  No reason why you shouldn't receive some of it, right?

Also: I want to draw your attention to the sidebar on the right.  Underneath the the EotU:Vampires! banner, there's the first Zaphod Zombie comic that I made a little while ago.  I'm hoping to hash out more scripts and do a few more comics when I have a chance ... nothing regular, mind you ... I just enjoy the characters and believe they deserve to continue to be realized in some form or another.  Regular comics will be coming soon in the form of Explorers of the Unknown.  Yes, there are big doings developing behind the scenes!

Stay tuned and stay creative!

It's 2:26 in the morning.

I went to bed almost four hours ago and haven't fallen asleep once.  There were a few times when I thought I felt the warm blackness of sleep creep across my brain, but it was nothing more than the cruel hand of insomnia teasing me.

My mind was a tornado of activity and it was my complete inability to shutter the blinds and ignore the whirlwind vortex of my daily, debilitating troubles that kept me awake.

I laid in my bed, an inflatable, twin-sized mattress.  It was taller than most inflatable beds, but it had a slow leak somewhere and I had to reinflate it once a week.  I had just done this earlier in the evening, so the bed was firm beneath my back.

The air was warm in my garage apartment and the window air conditioner unit rattled noisely on the other side of the narrow room.  The hot, Florida night was too much for the old unit, and combined with my overactive mind, was surely the source of my insomnia.

The large, red numbers of my bedside clock informed me that it was 2:27.  I rolled over, facing away from the clock, and closed my eyes.

I had done everything I could to try and facilitate this transistion from the waking world into that of blissful, restful sleep.  It had been Sunday night when all of this began, and I had started drinking promptly at 6:30pm.  Three Corona's by 7:05 and my eyelids had started to feel heavy, but sleep remained elusive.

I didn't let my roommates see my frustration. Monday morning was important to all of us: James had to be at his construction job at 6am; Frank had an interview 8:45 sharp, or-the-job-immediately-goes-to-one-of-the-seventeen-other-candidates-who-are-waiting-for-the-exact-same-interview; Lisa also had to get to work, teaching "life skills" at a day care for the mentally handicapped.  And then there was me.

My alarm was set for 7am.  My routine was to leave the house by 7:20 to get to my office job by 8am.  I would stare at my computer screen for a good ten or fifteen minutes, pointlessly scrolling up and down my endless list of work-related emails, before I would finally open a browser window and start reading the day's news.

I needed to be awake by 7am.  The plan, generally, was to go to sleep at 10.

Generally speaking, I'm a sleep whore.  I can't get enough of it.  My theory is that I sleep so much because my dream life is far more interesting than my real life.  And when I'm dreaming, I can't really tell the difference anyway, so why not enjoy the dreams for everything they have to offer?

By 7:15 on Sunday evening I was mixing my first rum and Coke.  My goal was not to get drunk, but to use the liquor to push the drowsiness over the edge so that I might properly enjoy my night of dreams.

I only added enough Coke to make the rum go down easily.

I can hold my alcohol well enough and three drinks later, at 8:10, the drowsiness had grown into lethargy.

My mind, however, was hyper-aware.

I bid my roommates goodnight and adjourned to my converted garage apartment and my inflatable bed and the noisy window air conditioner.

God, I wanted to slip into a dreamworld and escape this existance so badly.

I crashed on the mattress, felt it give entirely too much under my weight, and hauled myself back to my feet to reinflate it.  A few minutes later, I was on my back, wearing a tank top and briefs, my eyes blissfully closed.

But sleep continued to elude me.

As the minutes ticked by, my mind raced around the simple fact that if I didn't get to sleep soon, I would be faced with a god-awful day at work.  Misery knows no depths deeper than mentally unstimulating work for an exhausted, sleep-deprived brain.

It was shortly after ten when I rolled out of bed and turned on my computer to engage in the one sure-fire sleep aide that any man will attest to.

As I tried to focus on various images of pornographic activities, my hyper-active mind shifted focus, nearly unbeknowst to me, to thoughts of a lonely and desparate wanting.

There was no reason for me to be doing this.  There was no reason for me not to have a girl here.  A girl to hold, to fuck, to share a night-time journey full of dreams with.  No reason, of course, except for my self-imposed celibacy.

Even with my hyper-aware mind racing down thoughts of an irrational sense of inadequacy, I finished myself off and returned to bed, ready to finally be done with this waking life.

The glowing red numbers on the clock taunted me.  The pressing need to be awake in the morning mocked me.

Sleep continued to elude me.

By midnight, the lingering effects of my drinking had all but evaporated.  The claws of my insomnia burrowed deep in my brain and I screamed out silently, desparately calling for the quiet peace and ignorance that my dreams afforded me.

It was like being completely removed from my life.  A Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card, if you will, that I got to cash-in on nightly basis.  An escape from the disappointment, the failure, the overwhelming lack of drive and ambition--all for one night only, but act now or you'll miss out on a once-in-a-nighttime opportunity!

Sleep.

Was it too much to ask for?

I looked over at my clock just in time to see it click over to 2:26am.

It didn't seem like sleep would be coming any time soon.  I was stuck in this waking world, stuck in this body and life, enveloped in the suffocating pointlessness of a meaningless existence without even the reprieve that a good night's sleep afforded.

... I hated being awake.

Is it possible to be any more unmotivated than I am right now?

The good news is that I actually taped the footage for the fourth episode of krumbinesBRAIN ... not that this episode will goes into any new territory or anything ...

I want to get a bicycle.  Is Wal-Mart a good place to get a bicycle?  They have this red one that I'm rather fond of.

OMG, am I writing in tweets right now?  God, that's scary.

Okay, here's my dilemma: it's Saturday evening and I'm at a loss.  I don't rightly feel like working on any videos; I'm alone since the girl went out with her sister; I don't really feel like going out myself because the only things to do seem like shopping and movies.  I don't like going to the movies at peak hours (does anybody?) and there's nothing I need to shop for (or, I just don't feel like spending money).

Boredy-boredy-boredy ...

So my dilemma, in a nutshell, is that I don't really have all that much to do.  And on a weekend, that can be very troublesome, since I slog through the week doing the things I HAVE to do.

Is it fair to just do nothing?  I feel guilty about it for some reason.

I wonder if I bought a bicycle, would I really use it that much?  I had a bicycle before and I ended up having to leave it at a house when I moved.  I can't recall using it much at that house.

When I'm bored I tend to eat.  I'm considering some chips and salsa right now while I watch the second Matrix movie.  I watched the first one earlier today and it was pretty awesome--it was the first time I had watched it in years.  My point, however, is that eating when I'm bored isn't exactly the smartest thing in the world, because I'm really not the most physically active guy in the world.

That bicycle is really sounding like a good idea ...

One was my fault, the other, well ... that one was my fault, too.  But not as much.

Yesterday I wrote the blog about religion and should have spent a little more time explaining how I view religion and faith as being separate entities.  I should have also spent more time explaining my fundamental criticism of religion--that being the requirement to nod and say yes to everything it presents you, thereby encouraging a person to never question their surroundings.

All said, I think I did an okay job presenting my views and providing a starting point for the discussion that followed.  Minus Obsquatch (I'm sure he'll catch up with us eventually, unless he's intentionally absent for this discussion) there was an interesting cross-section of opinions offered.

Before I tell you where I'm at now, I need to tell about the other thing that went down yesterday which helped me get here.  Victor posted a video (I was actually a bit late in getting to it, so probably already watched it yourself) wherein he invites open criticism of the performances in the last episode of Talking Heads: The Christopher Mast Story.  (Check out the playlist for the miniseries here.)

It was a good video (any video that has anything even remotely to do about me is good :) but it caught me off guard.  I don't disapprove of it or disagree with the motives behind it ... it just caught me off guard.

A little while ago, towards the end of the old jordancg youtube account, I was watching another one of Blunty3000's video where he bitched incessantly about how much he hated the people on youtube for flagging one of his videos.  Previously, I had stopped watching Blunty because it seemed like all he ever did was bitch and moan ... and that just got tiresome.

That evening I decided to post a video response which would invariably change everything.  For the first time ever, here's everything that transpired after I posted my video response and why, ultimately, I don't like Blunty3000:

1) He actually allowed the video response on his video (he reviews all the video responses and is notorious for not allowing many ... which is fine, his discretion ... but with the amount of bitching he does about youtube and the youtube users, you'd think he'd work to set a better example, right?) so he allows the video response
2) he actually clicks into my channel per my request.  he sorts by "most viewed" and selects one the nonsensical madness videos:


Blunty3000 (1 hour ago) Show Hide
Dude, is this one of your videos you claim are so much better than mine? fucking TEDIOUS drivel! couldn't make it though the whole thing.

jordancg (1 hour ago) Show Hide
Jump to the bottom of the bin, why don't you? I told you to watch one of the newer videos, was that really so difficult? No, you had to dig to the bottom, huh?

Blunty3000 (1 hour ago) Show Hide
Bottom of the bin? I selected this as one of your most viewed.

jordancg (1 hour ago) Show Hide
Yeah, and my whole argument is that I have no audience. My quality productions have no viewers compared to ANY of your videos. Fuck if I know why this is one of my most viewed--it's a shit video.

Blunty3000 (1 hour ago) Show Hide
And it's just not possible you have "no audience" because your vids aren't as well made or appealing as you think they are?

3) Next up is Zaphod Zombie:

Blunty3000 (1 hour ago) Show Hide
You asked me to look at something recent from you so here I am. You claimed "high production values" No. Here I find Terrible, distorted audio. Nonsensical amateurish and distracting editing. and frankly an uninspired gimmick I've seen done before, and better.

jordancg (54 minutes ago) Show Hide
Color me impressed, sir. I certainly cannot knock you for your opinion.

However, based on these brief conversations I've had with you just now, it is clear to see that you truly are a bitter and angry individual ... I imagine if you left youtube well enough alone, you're blood pressure might thank you.

At any rate, thank you for at least checking out the vids and reaffirming why I stay away from your channel in the first place.

Until next time ;)

Blunty3000 (48 minutes ago) Show Hide
Actually, I'm quite content and happy, blood pressure is fine and I'm bitter about little in life. What you see as "bitter" and "angry" is just the fact I don't sugar coat shit, I call it like I see it, I'm blunt. You called me out claiming that your content was high production value, deserves the exposure I get, and I'm telling you, your production values aren't anywhere near what you seem to think they are. If you can't take constructive criticism why'd you ask me to look?

jordancg (42 minutes ago) Show Hide
I can take constructive criticism just fine. Please alert me when you have some.

Perhaps I spoke out of term in referring to "production value" but what speak of is creative production value. Throughout youtube you have endless amounts of videos that have no point and achieve nothing. I write stories and original content ... exemplified best by my series. I work with what I have (what EVERYONE has) to show people that they don't have to make pointless vlogs all the time.

jordancg (39 minutes ago) Show Hide
You should watch episode 24 of Talking Heads and tell me if I'm the one who should leave youtube alone.

4) and then Talking Heads 24 (The One That Starts with the Dark Knight)

Blunty3000 (34 minutes ago) Show Hide
Because you held this out as an example, here I am. Oh Jee whizz. a Joker parody. Never seen that before on youtube. I'm still waiting for you to live up to your claims of high production values and high creativity. I've given you more than a fair chance to justify the claims you made. You've wasted my time again and again with uninspired content, rubbish editing and frankly, pretty clear jealousy. I'm done. Good luck improving while ignoring constructive criticism.

jordancg (25 minutes ago) Show Hide
:D

Thank you, sir! I've always believed that I was a giant ass, so it's rather comforting to personally meet an ass monumentally bigger than me.

How to make friends and influence people (on youtube): at least watch the whole video before you comment ;)

Blunty3000 (11 minutes ago) Show Hide
Yes, you are an ass. You ASKED me to look at this and give you my thoughts on it. Instead because I didn't love it, and told you so plainly without sugar coating, you get defensive and dismissive. You're acting like a six year old.

5) okay ... so basically I'm getting into it with a youtube partner and I'm getting wholly riled up.  You know how it goes.  It's the internet.  At any rate, he can say whatever he wants, but if my stuff had the exposure his had, I'd be rocking the same amount of subscribers and views ... probably even better.  But ... whatever.  So here's the last of it in form of emails with him:

FROM ME:

where's the love??
It's a question of raising the bar. The majority of youtubers setup the camera and talk about nothing--the very least I want to see is for them to write a script. From there it can go anyplace.

I feel, in doing my productions, I can set an example as to what quality the everyday youtuber can possibly achieve.

Hey, I can appreciate if you don't dig the videos--I don't like many of yours--but creatively we do have similar point of views.

FROM HIM:

Re: where's the love??
The problem here is your arrogance is blinding you. You've shown me no real creativity, innovative thought, or anything you claim to have "high production values" on. There is nothing you're doing that stands out from hundreds of other "wannabe stars", but you think you're pushing envelopes and are being some kind of creative powerhouse, that's your problem.

your second problem is you ASKED me to look at your stuff but you utterly refuse to take on board the criticism I've been giving you so you can address the issues you have.

I too use the same equipment most "everyday youtubers" use. the VAST majority of my vids are webcamed, or filmed with a miniDV cam (the cheapest model). But I have dedicated a large portion of my recent years to learning the craft of video production, whatever equipment I'm using I know how to push the best quality from it, not that I always choose to based on the content I'm creating and if it needs to be at 100% technical quality.

the creativity, which you so loudly have been vaunting is only a part of the whole. You MAY INDEED have some great ideas, but you seem, so far, incapable of realizing them in interesting, well produced and compelling ways.

Hell even the most basic self marketing things like having an interesting video title are utterly escaping you. Why would anyone looking for interesting content click on a vid called "CW04" ? seriously.

Now I've expended a good deal of my time trying to help you here, and you're throwing it back at me in arrogance.
Am I wasting my time? or do you genuinely want help becoming BETTER so you can have a chance at teaching more of the audience here?

FROM ME:

Re: where's the love??
Wow. Two arrogant bastards trying to have a conversation. Like that will ever end well.

I'm stopping this now because I don't have the patience for this ... this is what you wrote which is the root of our mutual contention:

"You MAY INDEED have some great ideas, but you seem, so far, incapable of realizing them in interesting, well produced and compelling ways."

I have the same opinion about you and your videos. We're not going to meet eye-to-eye on this and it's not because either one of us are incapable of taking constructive criticism but because neither one of us will ever place any value on the others opinion.

That said, I do appreciate the time you've spent watching bits of my videos and corresponding with me. While I don't agree with most of the things you say, I do have an appreciation for where they are coming from and do agree that there were valid points raised.

Good luck to you, sir!

AND FINALLY:

Re: where's the love??
Fine, okay you're completely and utterly unwilling to listen despite directly asking for my opinion?. No problem, next time I'll just ignore you alltogether.

It's worth noting I do not watch every vid someone asks me to "check out" and get my opinion and advice on. You have just proved why it's best I ignore these desperate pleas.
You people don't want an opinion or advice, you want affirmation of your own overinflated concepts of how "awesome" your work is to feel more secure and righteous in whining about how unfair it is you don't get views.

"You MAY INDEED have some great ideas, but you seem, so far, incapable of realizing them in interesting, well produced and compelling ways."

"I have the same opinion about you and your videos. "

Well one of us is wrong, because one of us has millions of video views the other does not. The evidence seems to point to the fact that the way I realize my creativity is indeed interesting compelling and well produced enough to grab the eyeballs who are ignoring your vids.

MORE FINAL:
Re: where's the love??
You know what's funny about your last message?


"You people don't want an opinion or advice, you want affirmation of your own overinflated concepts of how "awesome" your work is to feel more secure and righteous in whining about how unfair it is you don't get views."


1) I don't whine about how I don't get your views. You may infer whining from my love note to you, but watch again--I'm merely stating how annoying it is to hear your bitch moan about your views (the lack thereof due to unnecessary flagging) when other people (be it myself or others) are lucky to get 100 views on videos that are unequivocally better than yours. Talk being an about arrogant bastard. I know it was to prove a point, but who's time are wasting with that "Blinky/Chris Crocker" shit animation?!

2) I stopped watching your videos because every other one became a bitch fest about youtube. Talk about accepting some constructive criticism?? THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF MY VIDEO TO YOU IS THAT YOU WHINE TOO MUCH. The perceived quality and/or relevance of my own videos is ancillary. But I like how you so thoroughly spin it back around on me. That's talent, sir, and I respect you for that.

Love,
Jordan

*****

WHEW.  Long story, huh?

I share all of that not only because people have asked about it, but because prior to that whole exchange I tried to be bluntly honest with people about their creative efforts.  If a video or script is in need of improvement, shouldn't the creator know that?

What I realized was that, more important than "constructive criticism" (I put that in quotes because apparently the term has different meanings to different people) is encouragement.

And on youtube, you've already got enough people calling you a suckass fucktard, why can't I be the one person who actively encourages your creative endeavors?  After all, if you do something long enough, you're eventually going to get better at it, with or without the constructive criticism, yes?

I don't know, really, but that's where I was and that's what got me to where I am now.  I place a great deal more value on encouragement than on criticism.

When Victor posted his video, I flashed immediately to YouTube Rejects and how Heather didn't even finish the series because of the criticism she was receiving in the comments.  That's why Victor's video shocked me.  It's not that I myself can't handle the criticism of my performance, my editing, and my script, but that I do everything in my power to make the people who participate in these productions look good.  And although we've wrapped the production of CMS, I would be disappointed to find out that the legions of fucktard youtube haters might in some way influence and inhibit the cast of the upcoming episodes.

And again, you only need to look as far as Heather and YouTube Rejects to see why this came as a shock to me.

Which brings us all the way around to real point of this blog.  (Was it long enough for you??)  What is safe?  What is safe to talk about and what must be avoided at all cost?  In a single day I went from religion to some harsh criticism of the very lifeblood of my existence--my creative projects.  I would love to live in a world where anything is fair game to talk about, but maybe we have boundaries for a reason.  What are your thoughts?

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**PICTURE NOTE: I had "heathenistic" in a google search and just clicked over to the image results.  That was the first result ... an actor/comedian who's name escapes me right now.

And now for another installment of "I Read It So You Don't Have To!"

For some reason, my gut is telling me that this one's for Heather (but you can enjoy it, too, Obs!  Also, I'm counting on Tripp to weigh-in with his perspective).

Admittedly, this one is a day late and a dollar short, but the fact of the matter is that I try and stay away from my brother's ramblings as much as possible.  There have been some hilarious developments in his life as of late, which is why I poked around his website today.  (I didn't find any additional details about those hilarious developments, though.)

Jason (my brother) wrote a blog titled "Easter Bunny?" that was essentially taking on the inclusion of bunnies and chocolate in "Christian" celebration.

First, the positives: the glaring technical errors that I had some fun pointing out in his last blog have since been squelched down to a minimum.  Also, if you had actually clicked over, you would have noticed that his blog is formatted with a frighteningly annoying double-space which resulted in about nine-hundred feet worth of empty white space between paragraphs (I exaggerate only moderately).

So, Jason, kudos for demonstrating an ability to, you know, edit.  Keep up the good work!

Getting into the meat of his blog, we're faced with something, well, a little different.  I'll share with you the passage that made me decide to actually respond:

"What gets me is how the Easter Bunny and company got hooked with the Resurrection of Christ. We were trying to make Christianity more appealing to the pagans. Rather than raising them up to our level, we sunk to theirs."

Essentially, Jason posits that Christianity=Good, Everything Else=Bad, and Easter Bunny=Satan Incarnate.  So we're absolutely clear, the point of this response is claim that Religion=Intolerance, Religion=Narrow-minded fucktards, Religion=Blatant disregard for fellow human beings.

I don't much care for religion, can you tell?

The first gross inaccuracy that bothered me was Jason's labeling of everyone not Christian as pagan and everything that is not Christianity as Paganism.  Also, since Christianity is the worship of the one "true" god, that paganism, by a Christian default, is the worship of Satan.

I really hope that Jason gets the opportunity to make that argument to a true, practicing Pagan, because he'll likely get punched in the nose.  Not that I truly want him to get punched in the nose, but I imagine it would be an eye-opening experience.  For him.

The actual definition of pagan is "rural, rustic, or of the country".  Ironically, it was Christianity that "appropriated" the term to define heathenistic Satan-worshipers.  (Which, again, if you don't worship God, according to the monotheistic religion that is Christianity, obviously you worship Satan and therefore are a pagan.  Or something like that.)  I say ironic because the man feels the need to find out what bunnies have to do with Easter, but will conveniently and completely ignore EVERYTHING ELSE about Christianity that makes no sense whatsoever.  Like how Christians insist upon calling Pagans Satan-Worshipers.

So let's move on to the second part of his quote, where he talks about "sinking" to the pagans' level to make, um, their celebration more appealing ... to them?  Yes, Jason also establishes that Easter is originally a "pagan" holiday that has nothing to do with Christianity whatsoever.

At this point, I'll observe that Jason's research is second-to-none and would really make, oh, I don't know, Rush Limbaugh proud.  To find an explanation of the origins of Easter, he went to a website called "Got Questions", a religious publication that offered this charming nugget in explanation of Easter: "Originally, there were some very pagan (and sometimes utterly evil) practices that went along with the celebration."

Nothing like preaching to the choir, huh?

Okay, so I can't fault Jason for preaching to the choir himself (assuming that the only people he's targeting on his website are narrow-minded religious freaks--seriously, Tripp, am I way out in left field on any of this yet?  or have I COMPLETELY offended the hell out of you?) but when exactly did Christianity become such an absolute religion?

This is my problem with religion (any of them, but we'll use Christianity as the example): belief in it mandates that it (Christianity) is right and that everything else is wrong.  Well, apply that to every single denomination of every single religion in the entire world.  If everyone's religion is the right religion, that makes everyone's religion the wrong religion, and the only truth about life, the universe, and everything can only be found in the microscopic muck of the dot on an ant's antennae.

This is the part that made me feel like this was for Heather.  You don't get anywhere in life saying this is right and that is wrong, but learning to appreciate different point of views and why, in fact, people believe different things.

The only reason that Christianity is what it is today is because just after the dawn of the 1000's, people started running around and killing other people if they wouldn't convert to Christianity.  There were nine crusades in nearly three hundred years, and they all served the same purpose, to be "religion-driven military campaigns waged by much of Christian Europe against external and internal opponents."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crusade

That's what pisses me off about Christianity.  The people who so blindly and haphazardly follow it and readily denounce "everything else", they exhibit virtually no mental capability of posing the question: "why?" and are subsequently quick to completely ignore that their religion itself is no model of perfection either ... and, in fact, when you learn to appreciate the roots, is just as disappointing as all of the rest.

I don't align myself to any religion other than that of "Why".  Why do we say the things we say and why do we do the things we do?  I will criticize a person for their religion, but they will forever have a pass for their faith.  And for the believers who read this, religion is nothing more than a man-made construct that has summarily bastardized whatever true purpose your god has tasked you with.

And what does this all have to do with Easter and chocolate rabbits?  Absolutely nothing.  It's all a bunch hootananny and hogwash and if you believe in Why, it's a source of hilarity for you and if you believe in your faith, it hardly matters to you and if you believe in religion, well, you're fucked.

Go on, lemme have it.

Oh, and BTW—aside from own personal life experience in asking "why", these are the webpages I referred to in writing this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paganism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity#History_and_origins
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crusade